Agnostic

2008-11-29T16:36:00.001-08:00

Love is patient, Love is kind,
It does not envy, it does not boast,
It is not proud, It is not rude,
It is not self-seeking,
It is not easily angered,
It keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil,
but rejoices with the truth.

Love always protects, always trusts,
always hopes, always perseveres.

Love bears all things, believes all things,
hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never ends.

2008-11-07T23:58:00.000-08:00

We were both young when I first saw you.
I close my eyes and the flashback starts:
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air.

See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns.
See you make your way through the crowd
and say hello;

Little did I know
That you were Romeo; you were throwing pebbles,
And my daddy said, "Stay away from Juliet."
And I was crying on the staircase,
begging you, 'Please, don't go.'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

So I sneak out to the garden to see you.
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew.
So close your eyes; escape this town for a little while.
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said "Stay away from Juliet,"
But you were everything to me; I was begging you, 'Please, don't go,'"

And I said,
"Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone.
I'll be waiting; all there's left to do is run.
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'

Romeo save me - they're tryin' to tell me how to feel;
This love is difficult, but it's real.
Don't be afraid; we'll make it out of this mess.
It's a life story - baby just say "Yes.'"

Oh.

I got tired of waiting,
Wondering if you were ever comin' around.
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town,

And I said,
"Romeo save me - I've been feeling so alone.
I keep waiting for you but you never come.
Is this in thy head? I don't know what to think-"

He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said,
"Marry me, Juliet - you'll never have to be alone.
I love you and that's all I really know.
I talked to your dad - go pick out a white dress;
It's a love story - baby just say 'Yes.'"

Oh, oh.

We were both young when I first saw you...

2008-10-30T20:12:00.000-07:00

Something very crazy happened today. A 61-year old man set himself on fire! AT UW Red Square! He got 80% burn, was sent to hospital and he passed away there.....

Actually, I am not surprised if there are any other people who's gonna commit suicide..UW IS SUCH A FREAKING STRESSFUL PLACE!

Anyway, here's the address to Seattle Time's about the poor man.

http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/localnews/2008331596_webuw.html

I would rather hurt myself
Than to ever make you cry

2008-10-29T22:23:00.000-07:00

OMG! Today God must have rewarded me somehow. The fact that I got A- for my business communication paper (means I don't have to redo it), I'm chosen by Phi Theta Kappa to some Business Delegate thing, and I ate one of my favorite food, FRIED RICE! Thank you, God!

Now, I would like to ask for all the support I can get to all the Gods out there to help me get through next month. IT IS HELL MONTH FOR ME!

Nov 3 - business communication paper and accounting writing assignment due. Finance midterm
Nov 5 - business communication group project work plan due
Nov 7 - music midterm 2
Nov 10 - accounting midterm2
Nov 12 - business communication midterm
Nov 17 - finance project due
Nov 19 - business communication press kit project due
Nov 24 - finance quiz 3, business communication group project presentation, music concert report due

Oh please help me get through this!

A part of me is dying
There's nothing left for me to do now,
but give in
If you gave me one more chance,
I would tell you how I was feeling.
I would tell you I won't live my life without you...

2008-06-13T09:27:00.000-07:00

I just realize that I am so hopeless without my mom... Oh mommy, don't ever leave me ok? I love you so much...

2008-06-05T18:48:00.000-07:00

I don't like my chemistry teacher. She's a bitch..when I asked her question all she said was "oh, I don't know..." OMG pissed me off!!!

I'm torn into pieces. I can't deny it nor can I pretend

2008-06-01T23:08:00.001-07:00

Closer and closer my heart is drawn to you
Through that brilliant smile of yours
Let's fly away from the boundless darkness
[where nothing is possible]
Hold my hand

The moment I met you
I was reminded of the place I thought so fondly of
during my childhood days
Won't you dance with me?
The winding road between [the] light and [the] shadows
Is your mind now mulling over him?
Even though there are also times when I turn and
look back [with uncertainty]
I fight with love, courage and pride within my heart

Closer and closer my heart is drawn to you
The scattered pieces of my hopes
[up there amongst the stars]
Surely everyone will want to hold Forever in their hands
Even though you pretend that you're not bothered
[about him]
Hey, I'm in love with you
Let's fly away from the boundless darkness
[where nothing is possible]
Hold your hand

Although I love both your angry face and your tired face
I wonder if it is alright to rush into things like this
I am. . . given the run-around by your
unconcerned treatment
Even so, is your mind now mulling over him?
Although there are many things I wanted to ask you
Our conversation just dances around and never got
off due to the noise of the car

Closer and closer my heart is drawn to you
Even I am surprised
[by how much I'm falling in love with you, but...]
Whenever something happens,
you are the first person I want to call immediately
Even if you pretend that you don't notice
In the end I still saw nothing else but you
Let's fly to the other side of the sea
Hold my hand

2008-06-01T22:34:00.001-07:00

It's sunday and I hate it. I have to go to school tomorrow.

I just realized my love is not blind. I have never loved a man with flaws that I don't like.

I hope my love is a little blind; so, I will not be such a perfectionist.

LALALALALALALALA!!!!!! I'M GOING CRAZY!!!!!!!

2008-05-31T19:15:00.000-07:00

I am back! It's been 5 months since I last updated this "dead" blog. I have been too lazy to update anything in this blog about my life. My life was pretty screwed up since last Fall. It has gotten better now, though.

When everything around you is slipping away, hold on tight and don't let yourself to slip away as well

2007-12-13T09:59:00.000-08:00

I am going to take my driving license test and frankly speaking, I AM VERY WORRIED!!!

I just like like the whole world is going to explode!

AHHh!!!

Nway, will blog again later whether i passed or not.. WISH ME LUCK PEOPLE!

in the world so bleak, all the color that i could see is you

2007-12-11T22:06:00.000-08:00

Today is the last day of finals for me and now I AM FREE!!! Anyway, I am quite worried about my microecon and research paper..I don't want to get like C for my econ cos it will totally ruined my overall GPA. So far, I have never even gotten a B for any subject and the worse I have ever gotten was A-! I am so doomed! I can never get to NYU anymore! Moreover, I'm afraid that I won't get good grade for my research paper...COS I SO CALLED PLAGIARIZED! cos it's like i bought it custom made through the internet and yah IT IS NOT MY work... Oh man! I don't know what else to do right now...

whenever i saw you standing below the maple tree, i just have the urge to run to you

2007-12-11T00:05:00.000-08:00

I know I have not been diligently in updating this dead blog of mine as I claimed I would earlier this year. Putting that aside, I am just so glad that it is already December and it means HOLIDAY once more! I remember darn clearly when I was a damn high school student taking the idiotic O level and I had to study like nuts..but not as nuttier as when I studied for the prelim..Just glad that the year 2007 would soon pass with no accidents.

Anyway, while I was studying my math like 30 minutes ago, my bro told me that my mom asked him whether I have a boyfriend. Hilarious and like seriously. Why can't she just asked me? Why does she have to ask that obnoxious brother of mine (not that I seriously hate him or what). Actually, I don't get my mom at all. When I have a boyfriend, she will come nag and nag and nag saying that I am too young. But, when I don't have one, she will nag and nag and nag saying that I am NOT getting YOUNG -.-|||||||||| HELLO! I AM 18 NOT 28 OR 38!

A small part of me just wanted to hold on to you and another part of me just want everything to be history.

2007-11-06T07:19:00.000-08:00

I know it is kind of late to say this but.....

CONGRATULATIONS TO THOSE WHO GOT PROMOTED FROM JC 1 TO JC 2!!!

i am so beat right now

2007-10-24T00:28:00.000-07:00

God! I have not been updating my blog for more than a month..damn..ahh but I have a damn god reason. I am so busy! Anyway, I just want to say, I HATE MY LIFE RIGHT NOW!!!

Call me piggy from now on people!

In a way or another, even though I hate my life right now, I want to say

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY ONE OF MY BEST FRIEND FOREVER, FINDY!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DARLING FINDY!

i am so stressed...i will update some other time when i have the time to do so...

2007-09-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

Back in indo since monday evening and nothing much happening so far..just that i dropped 2 of my fall classes: SPA 101 and CHE 100. why? cos my mom wants me to go to UW and saw that i was going to take spanish, and given that i am not good in learning language, she insisted that i dropped it...so ADIOS!
These few days, i also started to write out my personal statement and personal essay for Seattle Uni..but i have not done so for UW's as they have not post the questions (topics) for the statement and essay on the website..UW does not even have the 2008 international application form! SO SLOW! The UW business school also does not have the Autumn 2008 application form! So i have to wait...darn! i want to get these stuffs over with...i have to take WSA (writing skills assessment) to go to UW and TOEFL...SO MANY TESTS!
Time: 11.13 AM
Date: September 6, 2007
Indonesia Time
embrace me with your hug with that scent that always lingers around me whenever you're not beside me...

2007-08-25T02:26:00.003-07:00

OMG! it is damn hot in indo and i am like perspiring every single millisecond...my Conrad has arrived SAFELY in Surabaya and NOT DEAD!!! yeah!! Today, he went to salon, supermarket, stayed at home..I am just so happy that he is here safely..but i think he cant stand the weather in indonesia...damn hot i tell you!

Tomorrow going to go to this idiotic celebration thing cos one of my cousin is engaged...what the hell...i cant stand this kind of thing but too bad i have to attend it... well, not for anything but since she is my cousin...

I will be going to Singapore on the 29th till the 3rd so i have 5 days in singapore...well, i had lots of businesses to attend to as well, so 5 days may be just worth it....

Time: 4.30pm
Date: August 25, 2007
Indonesia Time

I AM IN SAUNA!!! NO! MORE LIKE HELL!!!! HOT HOT HOT HOT!!!

2007-08-23T21:14:00.000-07:00

I had the worst dentist day of my life! well, not that the dentist was bad or anything..she is my mom's friend..but i said it was worst dentist day cos it happened that my swollen gum was due to my growing wisdom tooth..it's at the bottom right side..so apparently some food fell inside the gum and the doc had no other choice but to CUT my gum!!!! well, it doesnt hurt when she laser-ed off my gum away..but DANG it hurt like hell when i had to bite on this cotton for 15 mins...AND NOW IT HURTS MUCH MORE!!! yah and it looks gruesome!!! yuck!!! i can see the blood when the nurse used the suction machine (for dentists to use) to suck out the blood in my mouth!..damn it really hurts....

TIME: 11.19AM
DATE: AUGUST 24, 2007
Indonesia time

I CANT BEAR ANY PAIN..I AM WEAK~

2007-08-23T01:21:00.000-07:00

I am back in indo right now, but not exactly my place. I'm in Jakarta..I'm on a transit to Surabaya which the dang plane flies at 6.00PM...right now it is 3.23PM, so i have to wait long enough that i can rot my whole brain away. I'm at the executive lounge web center blogging and i cant stand the slow internet speed indonesia has..56K! 56K! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH INDONESIA'S TECHNOLOGY!

Anyway, my baby, Conrad, arrives at Jakarta NOT DEAD! but 101% VERY DIRTY! what do u expect? he's at his cage for 24 hrs and of course he will peed lots! For today, he is gonna stay at Jakarta for a day before going to Surabaya tomorrow... He's tired and probably having a bad jetlag! I don't have it, jetlag i mean.

TIME: 3.27PM
DATE: August 23, 2007
Indonesia time.

It is actually hard to blog when u live at 2 places when they have a big time difference~

2007-08-21T17:33:00.000-07:00

Going to the airport in 5 hours time..and yet it seems like i have not finish packing! it seems just like i am forgetting something..!!!

i am still worried about my conrad... i hope my baby boy will be just fine at the quarantine..i hope he is not mistreated...oh man! the worry inside me just keep on growing!!! i think i kinda understand the feeling of a parent...hey! i love my dog just like he is my SON... ok i get it...i shldnt get too attached with a pet..so? i still love him a lot...

i am so broke!

2007-08-20T21:07:00.000-07:00

Today might be the day i have the most fear in me. Today, i realized how much Conrad mean to me. I wondered to myself, what would i do if he never entered my life. I am so scared i will never be able to see him ever again after my graduation. I really love him so much to let him go...

oh for those who doesn't know who Conrad is, he is my dog..

thank goodness that the storm has passed and he is able to go back with me, even though he is gonna be quarantine in indonesia.. but at the brighter side, i would only have to wait for the paper in indonesia to be out and i can take my baby out of the FILTHY quarantine place...

i now really understand when they said, "Love knows nothing of its own depth until its last second of separation."

2007-08-17T02:30:00.000-07:00

i bought the new harvest moon game, rune factory~fantasy harvest moon~, 2 days ago and i've been playing it since then! The game is just so nice to play~ i get to slay monsters, befriend monsters, get some exotic items, etc..yah i know i'm a game freak..

aside from playing game the whole day, i did some room cleaning just now...since i'm going back indo on the 22nd, i have to clean it up or else it's gonna collect dust and also i cant leave it that messy anyway...

lalala~ i'm going to sg~

2007-08-14T23:43:00.000-07:00

i've got 2 finals tmr and yet HERE I AM playing comp...

my conrad is sick and i have been nursing him for days..gave him all the medicine and still he is sick! WHAT SHOULD I DO? i brought him to the doc and still sick!..i'm scared i lose him!!! ohh my poor baby boy~

i'm gonna buy lots of stuffs tmr...some see's candies, clothes, games...

i have no mood to study~

2007-08-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

I seriously hate my mom right now... don't you ever come and tell me that the difference between love and hate is indifference and means that i still care for her... BAH! WHAT IF I WERE TO TELL YOU I DONT CARE ANYMORE??? idiot woman...

yay! harvest moon: factory runes is coming soon in 2 days time! i am so gonna buy it!!! and lots of other games to bring back to BORING indonesia...

2007-08-09T20:24:00.000-07:00

OMG! OMG! OMG!!!! how can i fall like that??? so embarrassing!!! damn! why am i like spacing out while going down the stairs???? why do i have a blank balloon above my head while i walk???? ARGH!!! chicken day!

u pinky swore..so dont break it...

2007-08-06T16:24:00.000-07:00

TIRED! i'm getting lazy as each day passed.. damn~

shopped a little yesterday and as expected NOT ENOUGH!

i need to shop!

2007-08-03T11:39:00.000-07:00

i want to shop!!!!

i see an ice-cream when i look at you. Cool exterior, but soft and sweet inside..

2007-08-01T15:07:00.000-07:00

i didnt mean to skip classes today..well, i want to skip the first two classes, but too bad there was some idiotic incident..

i woke up at 6.50am then i changed the alarm to go off at 7.50am..but at 7.50am, i altered the "alarm" again by another hour...the fact is that i didnt change the alarm time but the time instead. so basically, the alarm is still set to go off at 7.50am..when i woke up the clock showed 11.20am and that's when i quickly took a shower and all..then decided to go to sch for a while..but i started to watch some animes and looked over at the laptop's clock...then i found out that i didnt change the alarm but the time instead..AHHh~ forget it...stupid day...

i wish upon a star~

2007-07-31T00:49:00.000-07:00

i dont know why, but i keep running away.. may be i'm scared? i dont know for sure, but for one thing that i dont want to lose anyone.. what does it mean when people say, "see, that person is strong...bla bla bla bla....." what does it take to be STRONG? please tell me!

i will not break our promise...

2007-07-27T13:45:00.000-07:00

my body hurts like really hurt...i cant even sleep peacefully! i cant turn my body, i have splitting headache..all thanks to Wii...well, Wii is just a console..it's just me who lacks of exercise...

No more shopping when i cant even carry anything..walking is also painful~...

will you be the person whom i know next week?

2007-07-26T21:37:00.001-07:00

I just made a promise of a lifetime with bulet...i am very happy! =) well i know i am a little like a kid.. but i dont care! to those who said there is no such thing as promise of a lifetime, GET LOST!

MY PROMISE OF A LIFETIME TO BULET: we both will meet up in singapore even when we have our own family!

*simple, yet it is meaningful to me..*

2007-07-26T21:09:00.001-07:00

my whole body is aching! i move a little and it HURTS!...i guess i shldnt have played Wii that long...argh~

i'm gonna do "a little" shopping tmr...i'm just dying to slide my visas...blah just hope i dont overspend again..

all i know is no matter what tantrums u throw at me, i will not be angry or unhappy at all..cos u r very important to me...

2007-07-25T23:15:00.000-07:00

My arms are soring...!!! why? i played Wii sports from 9 till 11...took a break to bring conrad down for business for about 10 mins! tt's the only break i got! well, yeah..i can choose to rest, but i didnt so i know it is my fault...now my hands cant top trembling....

it's weird how people get along and dont get along...what's more surprising is when people with different personalities get along well..=)

tell me how i can be just like you...

2007-07-24T18:28:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was daniel's bday...but it slipped my mind..oh well~ what can i do about it anyway..

i went DOL and got my permit and went on to buy Wii! Wii is still so hard to get...imagine going to 3 places and then i am able to get my hands on it...damn! waste time...but anyhow, it is so fun!!!!

seeing you may have been the best thing that happen to me every single day =)

2007-07-22T21:52:00.000-07:00

my MIC 101 class is so doomed...i did one of the exam and i accidentally close the windows which means i cant do it anymore cos it cannot be retaken... WHAT A DUMB WAY TO FAIL A CLASS???? i guess i am just no fated for this bloody class...

now i have BUS 201 project which i have to use megastat to do and my laptop cant seem to install...so i am stuck to use sch's comp...darn...and i have BUS 101 project which i dont know what am i going to do..that class is so damn useless...

ARGH~~~ i dont like going to sch anymore...let me stay at home play games or drive around... i wish my life were just not like now...

help me~ i need you!

2007-07-22T11:37:00.001-07:00

I LOVE BREDA A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT A LOT!!!!! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!

i cant really express how much i love and grateful and thankful to the most FABULOUS artist, BREDA LIM!

I WILL BRING BACK LOTS OF PEANUT BUTTER CUP FOR U!

i am happy bcos of some stuffs and i am still clearly sad bcos i cant get to UW...

2007-07-21T23:55:00.000-07:00

I DIDNT KNOW THAT UW BUSINESS SCH IS THAT RETARDED!!!! why must they have smth called pre-application and pre-admission requirement! because of that pre-application admission thing i cant go to UW anymore!

ALL BECAUSE OF STUPID CALCULUS! the only way right now, if i want to go to UW is that TAKE CALCULUS this fall...but i cant take calculus in the morning... i have to take at night and in order for me to take it i have to drop either chem or spanish...TELL ME WHAT TO DO!!!! TELL ME WHICH ONE I SHOULD DROP!!!! TELL ME!!!! it is not that Seattle U is that bad but name wise UW is better...

PROS (UW):
name
better business program

CONS (UW):
i cant drive to sch
i have to take bus
it is very big
one building to another is very far away

PROS (SU):
i can drive to sch
i dont have to take bus
distance from one building to another is not far like UW's

CONS (SU):
name is not as gd as UW's
doesnt have business program as gd as UW
expensive

TELL ME WHAT I SHOULD DO???? TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!

2007-07-21T19:57:00.000-07:00

i'm going to buy Wii next tuesday..hehe...add some fun stuffs in my apt..so i wont be bored to stay at home...

my allergic reaction is really very disgusting! my skin is all dried up...and it hurts when it touches water..ugh~

shall i compare thee to the summer days? cos u will be the hottest!

2007-07-20T23:43:00.001-07:00

i've got some stupid allergic reaction on my right wrist...it hurts and itchy...my wrist is a little swollen and the skin become very dry..how weak~

speaking of weak, i really am weak..i'm always getting headaches...do i have brain tumor? or smth wrong with my nerves or whatever...i hope this stupid prone to headaches will stop...

seeing your smile is all that it takes to get me going...

2007-07-19T23:39:00.000-07:00

hahahaha! stupid steven lim...i watched the retaliation video done by him because xiaxue branded him one of the 7 disgusting bloggers in sg...and his argument is just going round and round and round...doesnt make sense at all...if u wanna watch go to www.xiaxue.blogspot.com

i've not had this kind of laugh since god knows when but I AM HAPPY... HAHAHA..no, not happy cos i watch that stupid steven lim video but i have NICE NICE NICE NICE NICE SUPER NICE NICE FRIENDS! hehe!

ohh! ohh! before i forget...today, the torturing genius, MIYUKI KUSUMA, didnt finish her food! hello~ big thing alrightie! she always finishes her food..she loves food..she enjoys food...so yah..she didnt finish eating!

i put my hands together and pray that time would stop...

2007-07-19T09:35:00.000-07:00

today really is my unlucky day...my dog chewed my converse shoelace and of cos it is broken... why me? why me? why me? what else could go wrong? let's hope nth will go wrong anymore for today..

I OFFICIALLY DECLARE THAT JULY19 IS MY UNLUCKY DAY FROM THIS YEAR ONWARDS!

the little things you do that make me twitch...

2007-07-19T00:09:00.000-07:00

i think today is so gonna be my unlucky day. why do i have to pick up a call from my bro's ex, zoe, while she is crying like a bloody helpless near committing suicide state kind of person. she cried and cried and cried and i dont get whatever she is trying to say...and the whole point i deduced is is that she hit my bro hard with her HANDS...wow..i wonder whether it is her palm or her fist...and then she said that they thought they can stay as friends bla bla bla..but couldnt...then smth about my bro's not gonna see her anymore and so do i...what fuck? oh and yah she asked me "lina, do u hate me?" WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT? how am i suppose to answer her? well, of cos i said no...i couldnt say YES cos it will hurt her more and she will commit suicide...u dont think so? hello~ women's mind are scary u know...! back back to topic...and yah she kept repeating that they couldnt be together at all and when i ask her why she say she couldnt say it bla bla bla...and my bro told her that she is clingy and the feeling is gone bla bla bla...DAMN DRAMA! and why should i be the victim of her whining, her crying, etc...HELLO! it is NONE OF MY BUSINESS! i hate drama mama women...i'm keeping my fingers crossed so that i wont turn into one of them...

OH! at the end she still asked me whether she called my home phone or my bro's handphone..idiot eh! why in the hell would i even pick up my bro's phone...and what an "excellent" ex-gf not even knowing whether she called the home phone or handphone...i wonder what did she store my home phone no. and my bro's hp no as...honey? sweetheart? darling? oh god! the thought of it alone makes me wanna puke...i dont mind if she stored my bro's hp no. as honey or whatever but not the home phone..cos i am using that phone too!

I DONT UNDERSTAND WOMEN...DONT TELL ME I AM A WOMAN TOO! I AM! BUT I DONT UNDERSTAND! WOMEN ARE CRAZY, SCARY CREATURES!

2007-07-18T22:55:00.000-07:00

there is no shame in failing cos it means u r a step nearer to ur goal..but I CANT ACCEPT ANY FAILURE IN MY LIFE! not that i want it perfect or anything..just that i am a big sucker for failing...i will pout the whole day because i FAILED...

i am turning into a FATTY...

2007-07-18T09:26:00.000-07:00

changed my jigoku shoujo skin cos it didnt work out that well...but i like it so much! but never mind..

my right wrist hurts and i cant seem to bend it...i skipped another 2 morning class today...i skipped it yesterday, too.. today's excuse is: RAINING AND COLD. it's summer here dude! and still cold..-_-'' i will just go for stats class at 11.20am...

see what i've become? LAZY

2007-07-17T20:19:00.000-07:00

MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I PASS MY WRITTEN EXAM!

CURRENT MISSION: DRIVE EVERY WEEKENDS INCLUDING FRIDAY TO GET MYSELF USED TO BMW AND THE TAKE DRIVING LICENSE TEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO

okok i am very happy cos soon enough (may be 2 mths) my days of taking bus to college is SOOOOO over!

hold and don't ever let go...because don't regret when i'm no longer there...

2007-07-16T17:41:00.000-07:00

people! people! tomorrow's a big day for me! i will take the driving written test for the 2ND time! yes! i failed the first time...=( Wish me lots of luck alright?

i'm scared of miyuki cos she is smart...she can read people's mind...

2007-07-15T21:01:00.000-07:00

whew~ i finish all my assignments~ woo-hoo! my BUS 101 class is so behind schedule and i couldnt care so much...i am so hopeless in business class =X

yesterday i bought new ipod to replace my old one..and now i have the urge to buy the dock..damn! i am so broke right now..well, not broke, broke..still have some moolahs to buy smth but just that i want my bank to have lots of ka-ching!

now i want to buy new camera, new hp (nokia 8600 luna), new sandals, new bags, new shoes, ipod dock, etc! and all of them are so expensive! T_T anyone care to fund me a little? HAHA! kidding~

right now it is the 4th week of summer classes! i cant wait for this stupid quarter to end..i want to go sg...but i dont know whether i will be going! i am still having cold war with mom..very B-L-A-H!

i gave you my words and i shall never break it even if it is going to take me years...

2007-07-13T20:58:00.000-07:00

i gambled for the first time today..i mean with CARDS! haha..i've never gambled and I LOST lots...=X

i wish i had a second side of me..the side which no one would able to see right through me...

i wish i had never been born into my current family..

i wish i had a mask that i would wear for everyday life...with that mask, i would be able to deceive others...

i miss...

2007-07-12T23:47:00.001-07:00

i dont know why but i am so scared of someone who can see right through me!
i am so ignorant... i have no clue about what it takes to be a happy person or what it takes to live...i have not seen much in this world..am i being a little shallow or whatever u call it...BAH~ i dont know.. i really want not to care but it always seems that i always care about what others say about ME...=X i am so weak!

why am i so afraid to tell anyone about what happened last year?

tell me everything on what u have seen of me...be truthful

2007-07-11T19:18:00.000-07:00

I am an incomplete genius
Miyuki is a GENIUS

I respect Miyuki
LONG LIVE MIYUKI~ -.-

harry potter's a disappointment, but daniel's GREAT! HAHA!

it hurts when i heard it from you, but it doesn't hurt at all when i heard it from other people..

2007-07-10T09:55:00.000-07:00

MIC 101 is canceled and BAH i am left doing nothing for 1 1/2 hr... why am i so weak? weak as in physically weak... i ate noodles yesterday and now i have the puking sensation..yuck~

2007-07-09T10:00:00.000-07:00

i've really lost it...here i am in class (MIC 101) and at the same time BLOGGING...

i couldn't help but to smile every time i see you...

2007-07-07T13:08:00.000-07:00

I HATE THE WILLIAMS SISTERS! WHY DO THEY HAVE TO BEAT MARIA??? WHY??BITCHES!

i feel so empty when you're not with me..i want to appear to be 'the one' for you...

2007-07-07T01:07:00.000-07:00

today, i drove illegally in america.. well, since i dont have USA driver license just yet, so it is illegal...BUT HELL! I LOVE IT!

i nearly forgot the way i love to drive and most importantly CAR! i love the sound of the muffler when i press on the accelerator.. i love the steering wheel and EVERYTHING!...(muffler is also commonly known as the exhaust pipe)

I JUST LOVE CAR SO MUCH! but if i were to choose between cars and those around me...i would still choose those around me...

because of you, i am beginning to be a better and happier person..thank you

2007-07-05T23:22:00.000-07:00

i believe you, so dont disappoint me..i will do just as what you told me earlier..as i can only believe in you for now...

you're really the only one who can pull me back from the slump I'm at for all these years...It's kind of silly, but I couldn't help but to say you're light of my life =)

2007-07-04T14:26:00.000-07:00

oh~ in this world so bleak as i see it, i find the only rays of light in my life from you..

dear god! i have been sleeping irregularly these few days...just yesterday, i didnt sleep until this morning around 6+am...and woke up at 1pm...this is so bad...

i have so many things i want to buy...BUT! i have no money left to spare to support my current lifestyle...

waiting for the day when i could run to your arms...

2007-07-02T00:40:00.000-07:00

i feel that there's a distance between me and everyone else these days... is it just me? i dont know...

i hope the distance that i feel right now will not get further apart anymore..or else, i really have no idea what i'm gonna do..

the fight between me and mom is still on and i am not talking to her right now until she apologizes... she's too much and i dont know what else to say..i know it's too much to ask her to apologize to me but this is one thing that i will not forgive even my own parents... well, even if i do forgive her, i will never forget it and i will bring it with me to my grave...damn! i think i have too much hatred towards my mom after she forced me to take accounting as my major...shit!

next subject...that idiotic woman keeps calling me day and night and dang right i never answer...she tried calling me with another phone number but i didnt pick it up...asshole! BITCH! i really regret being miss goody right now...i can be good at times but i think this time the devil has been unleashed...she will get it from me when she approached me in campus which i wish will never happen...

to think that i will like someone this much... this shows that i can no longer run away from the fact that i'm in love with you and everything about you...

2007-07-01T00:37:00.000-07:00

how can i make you feel so damn jealous..jealous up to the point until you are so ready to blow off your mind...damn! HOW???

i think i should cool off and think of the happy stuffs..

yeah damn right that i'm so gonna make you jealous until you say that you love me...

2007-06-30T00:44:00.000-07:00

i was supposed to take written test at the driver licensing whatever...but turned out there were just too many people waiting and i am too lazy to wait... so yeah i decided to take it next tues... so after i left the driving licensing office i went out to alderwood and met sherly... damn! i have no mood to blog... all of a sudden my will of doing anything just anything has ceased...

how? how? how? how? dont ask me why i said how that many times...just that there's just a feeling that i dont know how to do something...

i'm not afraid of anything as long as you're by my side, i think...

2007-06-28T01:16:00.000-07:00

argh!! leave me alone! dont call me! dont sms me! i am too disgusted already!!!

this sure teach me a lesson... NEVER TRY TO BE NICE WHEN YOU'RE ALREADY EVIL!...well, i am evil by nature..i mean i never treat anyone nicely unless i really like them or they are my friends who are dear to me... i tried to be a miss goody on monday 6/25/2007 and this is what i got....i think god hates me being a good nice girl... i swear that i am so not going to be a nice girl anymore! RAR!

i never looked at anyone like how i look at you before...

2007-06-25T19:08:00.000-07:00

the start of quarter and i am beat... i have some things that i have to go through tonight like some stats stuffs... very blah!

only you have the ability to paint my world...

2007-06-24T18:25:00.000-07:00

i am so depressed right now, so i have decided to list everything that i like such as food and anything...

Favorite food:
- fruit salad lobster
- crabs
- steaks
- eggs
- fried chicken
- meatballs
- corn

Favorite things:
- collection of crystals
- shoes
- watches
- nintendo ds lite

Favorite drinks:
- ramune
- green tea

Favorite sports:
- golf (i have not play for ages)
- basketball
- swimming
- tennis

TREASURE:
- mami
- my friends
- nintendo ds lite + all games cartridge
- clothes
- crystals
- watch
- presents i got from everyone
- photo album
- memories

seriously, i dont know what i'm doing..so dont bother looking at this entry...

2007-06-24T18:17:00.000-07:00

today is like the worst day of my life and i thank god for mami in my life...FYI mami is not my mum...she's just my aunt, but she is more like a mum to me than my real mum...she trusts me in every way possible unlike my REAL mum...

i don't want to say anything further cos of today's incident i argued more like quarreled with my REAL mum till my eyes swollen... yeah i cried like hell... just shut your bloody hell trap...

whatever is going to happen after today with my real mum i couldnt care anymore.. she wants to severe ties i dont care...cos i dont even feel like i'm her daughter... she wants me to go back to indo and never go back to USA..i am so gonna kill her if that's gonna happen... i dont care anymore...i am dead inside right now...i wanna kill myself just now but thank god i have my mami...

PS: mami, i love you a lot! thank you for everything until now!!

2007-06-24T11:00:00.000-07:00

class tomorrow and i am so not ready... i have an aching neck right now... it hurts like really hurts... my money is still not back in my deposit and i plan to go to bank tomorrow if the person in the bank doesn't reply the voicemail i left him yesterday...and i think i should change my voicemail too lest the bank thought they talked to me..=X

2007-06-24T00:57:00.001-07:00

i will declare right here and now that I HATE BANK OF AMERICA!! how can they lose a client's money...the client is ME! how can they lose my $2,300 deposit and how can they transfer out money from a deposit that is not even matured yet...HAVE THEY LOST THEIR BLOODY USELESS PEANUT-SIZED BRAIN??????

i can't wait for the day when i would look at you with my sincerest smile...

2007-06-22T03:12:00.000-07:00

i had just completed reading naruto manga till the latest one.. damn tiring as i expected... i think i have the most unproductive holiday of my life right now..i mean i have a week holiday and yet, all i had done so far were either playing ds or surfing the net...oh not to forget shop...what the hell was i thinking... ahh who cares! i wanna get some eye shut right now... i wanna get up early tmr..may be around 9.30AM...

right now all i could do is to watch and love you from afar...may be, one day, i could walk with you side by side forever.

2007-06-20T23:12:00.000-07:00

it may be true that if i were to transfer to dvc, i would get a higher chances of getting into ucb...but am i capable enough to stay in ucb and GRADUATE. ucb is so far away from sf itself. i will be bored to death if i stayed at that area.

i know sccc is damn crappy..but i dont know! i dont even have the confidence that i would get into UW's business sch...worse of all cases, i would just enter SU's business sch..hey wait a minute! what if they dont want this idiot girl who's blogging right now???????? damn! i hate this!

let's digress a little...

i went to bartell around 7.20pm today to buy some things...then after i purchased whatever i wanted, i walked out of the store and i saw this woman..she has this FAKE huge breast..u ask me how i know it's fake? well for starters, her breasts are so abnormal..her cup size, i assume she should be wearing cup D/ E ...but wait she wasnt wearing any...so yeah her nipples are visible to naked eyes...but her breasts are so different than normal ones... u see for normal ones...they dont appear stiff and definitely dont stay at one place when u dont wear bra... i guess it may be due to the silicon or saline or whatsoever the technology has right now.... BAH! my eyes hurt a little after seeing those!

i will lock away my feelings for you until the day i know when to express it...

2007-06-20T11:09:00.000-07:00

i cant sleep last night and what's worse is that there's a stupid fire alarm inspection this morning at 9 AM..so i was woken up by this horrible noise coming out from the alarm speaker "counting...2/33...bla bla bla bla"

it's still freaking cold in seattle...cold yes but at least not as cold as winter the other time...BRR~~~ chills~

2007-06-19T23:40:00.000-07:00

i dont understand why people keep asking me to make friends...i mean i know i dont have LOTS of friends but it's just too bad that i choose who i want to be friend with...it doesnt matter if u say that ur friends are very friendly or whatsoever and want me to know them but to me, i just dont like it...i know it sounds weird and all but i'm like that..ok this entry is bullshit, but i will just post it..damn!

you're my treasure...

2007-06-18T21:42:00.000-07:00

hmm...i'm sick and yet i still have the ~~drive~~...motivation to shop...actually i did shop on saturday when my bro's out to vancouver..but the things i bought arent not enough to satisfy the greedy devil inside me...

i wish you could see how much i treasure and adore you...

2007-06-15T03:34:00.000-07:00

my stomach hurts... it feels so hot...like as if someone set it on fire...

i think i'm a very good procrastinator...i started doing my essay at around 10pm and until now i've not finished it...i'm not planning to sleep at all today...

my bro's car is now a total wreck.. the back suspension or smth like that has broke through the baggage compartment.. from what i see that car is a total mess.. this is what will happen when idiots keep on MODIFYING their cars...

because i love you more than anyone else in this world...

2007-06-14T20:07:00.000-07:00

happy birthday yuki! semoga lu stay funky, nice, and always be you =)

2007-06-13T11:56:00.000-07:00

i know when i like someone, i dont have to be with them. but how am i going to be happy to see the person that i like to be with someone else? people said that if the one that you like is happy, you would be happy. but the question is HOW?

everyday, all i can think about is you. i have never loved anyone this much before.

2007-06-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

i read vira's blog like 30 mins ago and... she seems to have a hard time in shanghai with her eldest sis around. well, i dont know her sis at all but she scolded me over the phone once when i called fins...she's damn scary!

i dont understand why chinese parents can't accept any other kind of sexual preferences other than STRAIGHT. i dont know what crap i'm getting into anyway..

2007-06-12T23:24:00.000-07:00

yesterday night, i had a nightmare and a terrible one. i dreamt of myself, weighing as a 89KG girl. beats me about the weird number like 89...damn dream! i think i dream of it because i ate 2 krispy kreme donut when i'm "memorizing" my english and at the same time watching vids at crunchyroll.

i will always love you no matter what and even when you like another person. when you like another person, i will lock my feelings for you deep in my heart.

2007-06-12T00:26:00.000-07:00

omg! i think i'm going to have irregular sleeping time from now onwards. i want my previous sleeping time..yah i know i'm like a P6 kid but i need my sleep..damn school! (i have no one to blame except school and myself..but i don't want to blame myself)

meeting you has been the best thing that ever happened to me. you're a sun to my life =) i can't help but to admire you every time i see you.

2007-06-10T17:36:00.000-07:00

if my mom ever finds out about my biggest secret, ~~most probably~~ DEFINITELY she would disown me right away... i think i would just beat the crap out of myself before this secret ever goes out, but is it possible to hold the devil in me? hihihi

2007-06-10T17:05:00.000-07:00

will my dreams come true? i think my dream of being a chemist might change..i guess my passion for chemistry isnt that great after all. what can u say? i am just an ordinary girl who tries hard to be acknowledged by those she loves...HAHA! i think i'm really losing my sanity...

damn..i really have mental block...all i can think of since yesterday night was all about the same thing. ARGH!!!! is it really hard to express my feelings? i wish i could express it but i dont think i can ever do that!!! cannot!! =( but i'm grateful...because after meeting that, my life has become colorful once again. well, not that it was bleak before meeting that..but it's better now.. one day, i really want to tell that that i'm glad that i have met that...=)

2007-05-29T23:03:00.000-07:00

after all the raging on my harvest moon game, i decided that i should just restart it..yah i am a fickle-minded asshole..so shut your trap peasants (i can't find other words so i just use peasants..not that i am of higher status or whatever)...at least if i restart the game, i can get my yule stockings and at the end, it benefits me..even though my money is gone...

i'm also waiting for the following really cool games: Harvest Moon DS 2 (Released November 1, 2007), Rune Factory: Fantasy Harvest Moon (Released July 2, 2007), Puzzle de Harvest Moon (Released October 1, 2007)

i am a harvest moon freak!

harvest moon ds 2 is different from the first one as in 2 i can choose my character - a girl or a boy. the story is almost the same it's just that i will be farming in a "deserted" island WITH people in it. Ironic i know but beats me i'm just gonna play the game.

for the rune factory: fantasy harvest moon, the game is about this character who wakes up with no past memories and i have to retrieve them and also BATTLE monsters and befriends them, too.!

but i have no idea on puzzle de harvest moon..but who cares i will still play it..

this world seems to empty to me right now..

2007-05-27T15:18:00.001-07:00

T_T my game has officially ended and so is my life...there is a problem with the second memory slot and that is where i have been saving my file...the second memory slot contain my year 9 farming...ALL MY MONEY WHICH IS 22 MILLION G are GONE!!! MY CHICKENS, DUCKS, MY REFRIGERATOR, MY SHELF, MY STONE LUMBER, MY LUMBER, MY LV 3 HOUSE, MY SHEEP, MY COWS, MY MAKERS, MY POND, MY FISH, MY LEGENDARY SWORD, MY "WIFE", MY BABY DANIEL, MY DOG, MY CAT, MY SILO, MY FODDER, MY MYSTERILE EQUIPMENT, MY HARVEST SPRITES, MY HARVEST GODDESS, MY SLEEPING BEAUTY KEIRA, MY MERMAID LEIA, MY SEEDS, MY LV 5 PEACH SEEDS, ALL GONE!!!!!!

dont tell me to restart the game...it is very tiring..i played at least 6 hrs/ day..count it yourself since april 20, 2007 until yesterday...

god has just robbed me of my everything - MY GAME...

2007-05-22T19:50:00.000-07:00

damn it! what is wrong with my harvest moon game? not that the cartridge is broken or anything. the problem lies in that stupid game itself! i admit that i like that game but now i am in year 9 for the farming life and my chickens start to die and WORSE, NINA DIED! how in the hell am i gonna get a bloody yule stocking??????????? GRRRRR!!!! ROAR!!!! FEEL MY WRATH U DAMN STUPID GAME!!!

If u're wondering how come i get so fast to year 9 because my main character, edward, married celia after 1 season of marriage life she got pregnant and then after 2 seasons she would give birth and i named "my" baby boy, daniel... and for this harvest moon game there is no toddler years so it basically jumped to THREE YEARS LATER...make all my chickens die somemore damn it la...i bought chickens during 3rd year so of cos will die when it is the 9th year la idiot game!

I know u guys will not understand this unless u plat harvest moon ds!!!!

now i am thinking of playing it over again but LAZY LA!

2007-05-21T23:28:00.000-07:00

hehehe i am a happy girl today =). although, i knocked my knee against a metal bar and it can't be bend right now i am still happy =)

2007-05-18T11:29:00.001-07:00

I hope and hope and hope that one day my dream will come true...

2007-05-17T11:20:00.000-07:00

I know that I am bad right from the start and I'm afraid that if I don't admit it earlier I would turn into a living corpse... Living corpse as in dead in the inside but physically exists in this world.

I think I would end up being a heartless, arrogant, self-centered, impatient bitch one day. As a matter of fact, I don't really care anyway. Who's going to care? My family? No, they are not going to care except to despise me.

THE WORLD REVOLVES AROUND MONEY!! so as long as I have the money, I don't think I ever need anything... Love alone can't give me the ability to buy luxury, let alone filling my stomach. Although love is a kind of support, I will try and support myself with MONEY.

(I really hate talking about yesterday and I really really hate how I reacted toward certain things but can't help it)

2007-05-16T18:19:00.000-07:00

Damn it! I hate today! Not all of it but SHIT HAPPENED!

Too bad I am this way

Too bad I don't have a dad anymore

Too bad I have bad attitudes toward certain things

Too bad I am not the way people want me to be

Too bad I am rude to certain things

Too bad I am a pessimist at times

Too bad I can never have the happiness I have always wanted

Too bad I tend to be a little clean freak

Too bad I am everything a person would never want to end up like

GUESS WHAT?

THIS IS REALITY

THIS IS ME

THIS IS WHO I AM

damn!

2007-05-12T00:27:00.000-07:00

i hope someone could cure me from my incurable disease..ironic i get it but this is my blog so i will crap all i want... i would feel weird for the day i really do if i dont get to see it..

2007-05-10T20:47:00.000-07:00

why i always feel weird if i don't get to see something i want to see for the day?

2007-05-09T21:52:00.000-07:00

thank you so much for not taking someone special out of my life right now... thank you!

2007-05-09T14:15:00.000-07:00

my life is officially boring and i am dead in the inside...

2007-05-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

I HAVE A PROBLEM!!!

I AM ADDICTED TO MY DS!!!!!!! When I said addicted, I really am addicted to it. I played for more than 5 hours straight!!!!

I really have got to stop it...Why? Because of this, I have not studied for my tests tomorrow!!

2007-04-29T18:08:00.000-07:00

I am so troubled again~ and I don't intend to do anything about it... I know irresponsible but I just don't know what to do about all these problems that kept coming on to me..

2007-04-28T11:19:00.000-07:00

i am so troubled...

2007-04-26T15:28:00.000-07:00

I am very lost right now cos I really can't decide whether I should just give up my thought of going to UCB... I mean I know my ability and I know I can't get in. But I wouldn't know unless I try right? But I am too lazy to study so much.. Firstly, if I got rejected by UCB, what's the use of taking so many redundant classes that only match UCB's requirement? I think it is rather silly... So right now, I am having second thoughts.. Oh god help me decide!!!! Open up a path for me please!!!!!

2007-04-25T23:52:00.000-07:00

I think I am very good in causing people to get annoyed... I am so annoying... HA-HA!

I am losing touch of my sarcastic nature...I want someone to practice on!!! I can't stand the itch in my throat!!!

2007-04-24T23:40:00.000-07:00

After chatting with Miyuki, I realize I never appreciate what I have thus far.. I just live the life my mom wants me to... I never fought for what I want.. I forgot the feeling of fighting for my right.. Actually, I never really fight for my right.. I just do whatever my mom tells me to do..

From today onwards, I will appreciate everything around me and be happy for whatever comes up to me.. I am going to be a stronger person..!!

2007-04-24T19:44:00.001-07:00

I LOVE THIS SONG

2007-04-24T19:25:00.000-07:00

OMG! I am so screwed up right now... I am falling over the edge and something is not going the right way... I am so afraid to see what will happen next... I am so afraid that I might not be able to let go... I am so afraid of everything in this world... CAN SOMEONE JUST KILL ME????

2007-04-23T19:39:00.000-07:00

Aaaaahhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~ Nothing is falling at the right place....nothing is going the way I want it to go....

Aaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am tired of living~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to quit college~~~~~

2007-04-22T08:54:00.000-07:00

Nothing is going in the right track...

2007-04-21T22:04:00.000-07:00

I am really really sorry!!!

-_-'' I am really intrigued by a special someone..But I am too afraid to know that person...I am scared that the same thing will happen again...

2007-04-20T17:53:00.000-07:00

YES it is my birthday and I AM OLD.

Even though I am this old, I am still so inconsiderate of my friends feelings. I am insensible and all...=( I am so sorry...

SHER! sorry banget gua bener2 sorry!!! I will make it up to u ok? Tell me anything you want...scold me all you want but don't stay mad ok? For the sake of our almost a decade friendship? PLEASE!!!